I know it’s been a while since I last posted. Six months ago, I would’ve been livid at myself for waiting this long and sabotaging the blog’s growth like this. But it’s today. And I’m here. And I’m writing again. I’ve spent the last few weeks spending time with loved ones and accomplishing some great self-discovery by way of therapy and some inspirational reading. So I have no regrets for how I’ve spent my time. That’s all. Let’s get back into it, shall we?
“Where do you see yourself in five years?”
I’ve grown to dislike this question. As someone who is always interested in planning and being prepared for, well, life, I don’t dislike it because it asks me to look forward. I dislike it because I think it expects a certain kind of answer.
Last month, I made a goal to reduce my screen time. I promised myself that I’d be more mindful of how much time I was spending on my phone and watching YouTube.
This past Sunday, I wrote a post about how goals can sometimes be harmful. I discussed my often problematic relationship with goals, without explicitly sharing that some inspiration for that post drew from my WIP Wednesday series.
This series has become unproductive for me.
Goals are pretty universally seen as a good thing. They help you be mindful of what you’d like to achieve, they keep you on track, and they’re a great way of measuring your accomplishments.
In my experience, though, goals have sometimes caused undue stress. In fact, some past goals of mine have actually been harmful to me. Especially for people with perfectionistic tendencies, goals may not be the best way to work towards improvement. So I’d like to share my experience and offer some suggestions for alternative ways of tracking your aspirations.
So we’re a few weeks into 2019. Life is getting back to its normal routine, and if you’re like me, you’re finding that some of the changes that you wanted to make were easier imagined when you were in the dream-like state that comes around the holidays. There’s something about the brightness of December coupled with the mixture of uncertainty and optimism from the New Year that makes us feel a little unstoppable. Our hearts are warmed by the December holidays, and we see ourselves looking over this edge into a landscape of possibilities.
But even an exciting edge is still an edge. There’s fear there, when you’re standing at a precipice. When you visit the Grand Canyon, you’re in awe of what lies before you, but you’re also a little afraid. That’s kind of what I think happens to us when we make New Year’s resolutions.
My goal for November was to practice gratitude.
Once again, I feel that I’m standing in front of a learning experience I didn’t expect to have. What I learned this November is that you don’t need to make a measurable change in order for you to see the change. I’m someone who is constantly striving for self-improvement, always looking for goals to set myself, and often belittling my own accomplishments.
This November, I’d say that I achieved my goal. I made gratitude a part of my everyday life. But I still feel like I didn’t make an “improvement.” Why? Because I didn’t learn some new skill or some other demonstrable factor. I’m having one of those moments where I wish I could step outside of myself and say, “Christine–you realize that because of your goal, your entire mood changed last month, right?” Yes. I realize that. And I’m, well, grateful for that. But I feel as though I didn’t accomplish much.
Remember when I said that I’d be posting on Sunday mornings? I’ve already lied to you. It’s Wednesday, and here’s another new post for you.
It’s the first Wednesday of the month.
I want to introduce you to a project I’m starting, and even though this is a life project, I can’t seem to separate it from a crochet metaphor in my mind. It goes like this:
If you’re a yarn crafter, you know how tempting it can be to gather patterns for projects you would love to make. You may even go so far as to buy the yarn, but let’s face it, some projects never get started.Even more projects never get finished. My life feels kind of like my yarn stash right now. It’s a mix of exciting possibilities, overwhelming potential, and a bit of guilt for letting some endeavors sit for so long. (I’m thinking of you, granny square blanket that I started in 2015).
Consider this a down payment on my future.
Three and a half weeks ago, I was awake at 4:00 am staring at the wall of my hotel room. I was on a work trip and I couldn’t sleep. No matter where I tried to take them, my thoughts kept being chased by this one phrase: invest in yourself.
I was attending a marketing conference, and while I picked up a lot of tips and inspiration for my work, I couldn’t help but gather some for my personal development as well.
The idea that the most important thing you can invest in is yourself was a common thread among a lot of the sessions I attended. The more I thought about it, the more it made sense to me. Even if you’re not beginning some entrepreneurial journey, investing in yourself is going to have ripples that positively impact so many other parts of your life. If I invest in myself, I’m going to be a better wife, daughter, friend, employee, human.