It’s been a while, I know. I never abandoned this blog, but I’ll admit that it has been on the back burner for months now.
Isn’t it funny how the things that you love and the things that are most fulfilling for you are the first things to go when you’re not in a good place? The past few months have been challenging for me, and I haven’t treated myself the best. Under stress, I become very aware of others’ expectations, and the best way I can protect myself is to just shut down. I close myself off from the world, even the people I’m closest to.
I feel that I have made a lot of missteps since the spring, and I want to forgive myself. But here’s the thing: not a single one of my mistakes was because I didn’t follow what others expected of me.
I like sharing how I’m feeling with others. I know some people are uncomfortable even sharing their feelings with themselves, but I’m all about being open. As far as I’m concerned, the better you can understand what’s going on for me internally, the better we can get along. And that includes the tough stuff.
Hiding my depression, I feel, doesn’t help you or me. If I start acting “weird” or not like my “usual self,” I want you to have the tools to understand why that might be. Not to mention, I’d tear down the mental illness stigma single-handedly if I could. And I think that if every person who struggled with their mental health could be more comfortable being open about it, we’d be able to bring that wall down brick by brick.
I know it’s been a while since I last posted. Six months ago, I would’ve been livid at myself for waiting this long and sabotaging the blog’s growth like this. But it’s today. And I’m here. And I’m writing again. I’ve spent the last few weeks spending time with loved ones and accomplishing some great self-discovery by way of therapy and some inspirational reading. So I have no regrets for how I’ve spent my time. That’s all. Let’s get back into it, shall we?
“Where do you see yourself in five years?”
I’ve grown to dislike this question. As someone who is always interested in planning and being prepared for, well, life, I don’t dislike it because it asks me to look forward. I dislike it because I think it expects a certain kind of answer.
We can’t know for sure how many times we’re lied to in a day—unless we count the number of times we lie to ourselves. Have you ever stopped and turned your self-talk on its head? Sometimes our state of mind is more confined by self-imposed boundaries than we realize.
Get rid of that clutter. Cut that mental red tape. Stop telling yourself these 9 lies.
FOMO, or the fear of missing out, is something that has come to the forefront for a lot of us since the rise of social media. Other people are constantly sharing only the highlights of their life, and when friends get together and present curated posts of some outing or event, that’s when it hits. You’re sitting at home in your comfy flannel pajamas with a cat on your lap, content as ever, but that picture of your bestie with her other friends gives you major FOMO.
But what if you chose to stay home that night? If you elected to stay home and have a quiet night, that FOMO shouldn’t take over your mood. It’s about intention. What if you can turn this instance into some JOMO–some joy of missing out instead?
Tina Fey’s Mean Girls was (is) perhaps so wildly successful because most women have personally experienced or witnessed woman-on-woman bullying like what is represented in the movie. And for most of us, this experience was probably not a one-time thing. We grow up seeing girls tearing down other girls, even in the smallest of ways. From insincere compliments to outright assault (verbal or physical), we’re familiar with images of women targeting other women.
It was not until a few years ago that this issue really started to get a lot of my attention. When I entered the working world, I saw a whole new level of this bullying happening between women in the workplace. My experiences have shaped the way I interact with women at work and in general. As a result, I want to share what I’ve seen and how I think women need to consider the impact their behavior has on other women as well as themselves.
It’s no secret that being someone who is larger than the “average” or “ideal” body type comes with challenges. It feels like all of the body positive plus/midsize influencers that I follow get asked the same question over and over: how did you become so confident in yourself? Their answers vary, but one common thread is that they’re “still working on it.”
Body confidence is more of an ongoing process than a definitive goal that you can check off on your to-do list. This has been true in my personal experience as well. That being said, I think that there are still some actionable things that you can do to help your journey along. Today, I’ll talk about the top 5 things that have helped me gain body confidence.
People often talk about living in the past like it’s one of the biggest mistakes you could make. But there are so many ways you can interpret “living in the past.” Unfortunately, I think the blanket conclusion for all of these interpretations is that thinking too much about what has happened before can keep you from living well in the present and future.
I don’t know if I agree with this generalization.
I’m a cat person in a dog person’s world. If you’re not a cat lover, you probably aren’t bothered by the amount of hate that cats get from, well, everywhere. But let me tell you, there are few things that get me fired up faster than someone saying that all cats are mean jerks who couldn’t care less about the humans around them.
(Picture steam coming from my nostrils and ears even as I’m just thinking about this).
Why don’t cat haters realize how reductionist they are when they say these things? Sure, it’s a stereotype that cats can be aloof or aggressive. And there are two reasons for those stereotypes that I will explain later. But what about the stereotype that certain dogs are dangerous? Or the idea that some dogs make you look prissy? Why don’t dogs get as much general hate as cats?
The world is afraid to love cats because cats are less likely to universally love the world back.
If you’re reading this on its publish date, my 26th birthday is tomorrow. My birthday last year was exciting because so many people consider 25 to be the prime of your life. But what about 26? I think the only thing that most of us associate with turning 26 (in the US at least) is that it’s the age when you get kicked off your parents’ insurance.
Truly exciting. So what else can we say about 26? I’m now closer to 30 than to 20. Honestly, I get little waves of nervousness thinking about 30, but then I remember that a lot can change in 4 years. I mean, 4 years ago I was 22. I’m certainly very different than I was in my last semester of college, so I’m sure I’ll be ready for 30 when I get there (fingers crossed).
Maybe it’s because I feel like I’m really starting to settle into my life, but I’ve been reflecting on my identity a lot. I want to make this year about self-care, self-empowerment, and self-formation. I think I’ve gotten the hang of self-care and self-empowerment, but how do I know where to start for self-formation? I think back to when I was a kid.